From FatCatAnna

Of all days, I am hankering to eat breakfast. I rarely eat breakfast during the work week as it's never been a big thing for me.  I'm happy with my usual Americano which gets me by until noon. C'est tout!

Today though I woke up thinking ... it's time to do my a.m. basal test to see how my basal settings are doing on my insulin pump. I've only ever done the overnight basal test so far. My blood sugar (BG) was good, so I switched off the espresso machine that I'd had warming up for my Americano, and I went downstairs to my office to start working.

I am now soooo hungry right now as I type away to you.  Why of all days does this happen to me ? I know I can resist the urge, I can do it.  To make myself stick to the "plan" I'm tweeting every hour my #bgnow results so I do what I set out to do in the first place.  My first test was 5.9 mmol/l (106 mg/dl) and the latest test was 7.1 mmol/l (128 mg/dl) - so it's looking like I'll be adjusting my basal settings on my pump program.

How often do you do test out your basal setting?  Whether you use injections of Lantus/NPH/Levemir or a pump, do you ever question how your slow acting insulin is doing its' job?  Trying to replicate what a functioning pancreas does is a tricky thing, but it can be done as long as you follow the guidelines (I'm using the Pumping Insulin  book by John Walsh/Ruth Roberts to lead me thru' the steps).

So, tap, tap, tap, it's almost 11h00, and I only have until 16h00 to do the basal test. I thought the night time was was difficult (you always have to perform the overnight one first before attempting the daytime basal tests) but this is hard.  I'm awake, my body wants food (which it usually doesn't demand ).

The only good thing that's binging in my mind is that if my BG's keep on rising up, then I'll have to stop the test to correct with insulin.  At that point in time, test can't be continued, then I can eat.  Oh dear, is it horrible for me to be thinking this?  Okay, wiping out the pictures of a baguette smeared with butter and strawberry jam.  Back to work I go.

From FatCatAnna

Last night we got together with friends that we don't see too often.  We were celebrating a few birthdays, so I being the dessert maker, made up a nice treat.  Only one person in the group is a diabetic (D) like myself, and I saw their eyes bulge out when they saw what I had made, and I could see their nonD wife giving me the evil eye, as if I was going to kill her hubby due to sugar overdose! He's on insulin by the way, so he can "cheat" from time to time like I/we D's do from time to time.

As I was sitting around the table sharing appetizers and chatting up with the guys on all the latest news.  I started to realise that I was wishing I was sitting with all my D friends that I've made contact with over the past year.  I only started to socialise in D forums recently, and have found them to be a God send for when I'm feeling down or see someone asking for help.  I  was having an inner struggle inside of myself with feeling the way I was last night.  The one thing  I realised, everything with that evening was revolving around all the good food that we were eating.  Not that this hasn't happened before, I  mean food is part of the "social" thing.  We had awesome brushetta, orange slices made up with sugar, olive oil and whole black peppers (really GOOD - here's a low sugar version I found) to share and the main course was pasta sauce and meatballs with penne - eccellente!  

The only little glitch, I was having to calculate how many carbs in the back of my mind for all the foods/drinks I was cramming into my body and how long to bolus my insulin so my blood sugars wouldn't spike like crazy.  I felt sort of a bit strange, telling some of my friends about the carb count in pasta, and my other Dfriend giving me that evil eye of "why are you telling them this?".  I guess I just can't shut up about diabetes sometimes - is that bad?

I was wishing at that pointin time that I was surrounded by my diabetic friends that would "get me" (can you hear me Danny?).  The ones that know what to do with carb/insulin ratio (my Dfriend doesn't really care - despite my giving him a few books).  I was having little thoughts in my head, still listening into my friends of course, but thinking that if we were all diabetic, we'd be sharing some of our  stories about diabetes.   I've never felt this way before at a get together with nondiabetic friends, and as you can see, it's sort of shocked me to be thinking this way.

So, my question to you, have you ever experienced this feeling before?  I'm thinking because I'm more in tune with my diabetes now then I ever was, that this was the reason for why I felt this way.

From FatCatAnna

Dearest Antonio,

We've had some good times together over the past few years since we first fell in love.  We've swam together in the sea, danced under the stars on the ocean while cruising the Caribbean, we've even had some intimate moments in the boudoir. 

Ohhh, how different it will be not to have you by my side anymore.   Your blue shining skin, your subtle way of winking at me and reminding me that life with diabetes became even better when you came into my life back in April 2008.  It's now ended.  Sob. 

I feel that you've been cheating on me with the scatches that I have found on your body, and the late nights you've been spending away from me.  Sob.  It is best to let go, before my mind makes up more stories that may or may not be true.

Tendré buenas memorias mi querido but I know I will survive!

Anna xox

--------------------------

Seriously though, I am having sad thoughts of letting my Animas pump go back to the factory, to be examined to see why there was water inflitration in the battery compartment. Last week, while on holidays in the Caribbean, I had to do a battery change (lucked in that infusion was being changed at same time - whoo! whoo!).  As I started to unscrew the battery cap, gunky yucky stuff came out as I took the battery out.  Mike didn't think the battery was leaking, but it was wierd nevertheless.  We quickly cleaned out the battery reservoir, inserted in a new battery (lithium - only the best for my Antonio), and life continued with no problems.

I contacted Animas today just to ask about what had happened, along with asking about the scratches on my pump screen (thanks Dave for that suggestion), as well as the paint work that was coming off the pump compartment.  Within 1/2 an hour of talking to a technician, I was told to keep the loaner pump that I was about to send back (if I didn't - I would be getting a hefty charge of $7K).

So, while I am pleased that I have a new pump, and it's lime green which is appropriate for me seeing as I was born in England and that I do enjoy limes to get my Vitamin C, I feel abit sad.

For now, the pump is unnamed, just callling it Limey for now, until either I come up with something, or someone sends some suggestions to me!  Adieu Antonio, it's been a good few years with you, and my introduction to the world of pumping!

From FatCatAnna

On the weekend in Ottawa, I met up with Catherine, our Goddaughter and her son Aaron.  It was a short visit, as we were doing the rounds on visiting our families, something we don't do that often, even though Ottawa is only a 2 hour drive.  Weekends are precious for us working stiffs, so getting away can be difficult as I'm sure you all can relate to.

Anyway, I think the best part of the weekend, was seeing Aaron!  He got diagnosed with diabetes at the age of 6, and at the time I had thought, "Oh no, why him?".  The thing is though, after seeing him, he reminds me much of myself as a youngster, just a kid full of energy and a zest for life (he's learning to snow board this winter).  I almost felt like I was talking to my twin, but in male form, it was hilarious, especially when we both found out we enjoyed dipping our pretzels in mustard.

His Mum is amazing, in raising him up the way he is, and along with help from CHEO (Children's Hospital of Eastern Ontario).  They both have so much knowledge in how to handle diabetes, and even for Catherine like it did for my family, the diabetic way of eating has rubbed off on her.  Aaron and I got to talking about carbs, and when I told him the storyof my meeting up with some Type 2 diabetics at a CDA meeting a few weeks ago who insisted that cookies made with "no sugar" meant they had no carbs, so I didn't need any insulin to eat them, he had a good laugh. 

Everything has some form of carbs in it we both agreed!  I told him how much educating I was going to have with some of the diabetics in the WIDA (West Island Diabetes Association) that I'll be President of beginning in January 2010.   I told Aaron that these diabetics felt that a blood sugar in the morning of 8-12 mmol/l (144-216 mg/dl) was good, and that my 4-6 mmol/l (72-108 mg/dl) was just too low, I just about screamed at them, but held my cool. Of course, they told me, their doctors say that this blood sugar reading is fine. My response was that their doctors lived in the Stone Ages, and I don't think they quite took that in sad to say. It makes me wonder, what the heck are endos/GP's being told, in order to educate their diabetic patients in taking control of their diabetes, and avoiding complications from high blood sugars?  Eeech!!!  Out of this conversation, with a 10 year old remember, he told me, that being a kid, he couldn't keep his blood sugars as low as I do, and I agreed with him on that, with all the energy kids expend out.  All I can say is, I never thought I'd be discussing this type of thing with another diabetic of such a young age.  I only started to really become better educated in the diabetes area about 10 years ago, and I'm still learning!  I should have come to Aaron for advice earlier  <lol>!

So, on closing, can you tell that I'm really proud of Aaron, and how much he knows about taking care of his diabetes?  Even better, he's going to be going onto an insulin pump, thru' CHEO soon.  Each month 4 diabetic children are entered into the pumping program, which the province of Ontario now has for ALL diabetics.  Imagine, if all provinces/states/countries had this program, so that insulin dependent diabetics could be on insulin pumps, paid for by their government!  Need I say any more, with my having better control of my diabetes since going on the pump 2 years ago (prepump - A1C of 7% - pumping - under 6%).

From FatCatAnna

Back in my clubbing days of the 80's (am I aging myself here? ) - Freak Out was the chic song to dance to!  Right now, this song is going thru' my head as I try to cope with having low blood sugars since basically the last few days.  Add to the top of my problems with having a computer shutting down on me at its will as I try to type this out to you.  It's another Freak Out, as my bread and butter depends on a functioning computer and just trying to cope like a normal human being. Scream!!  Who said diabetics lead an easy life, wait, wasn't that me at the IDF World Diabetes Congress, spreading the gospel truth of life with diabetes is easy ... NOT!!!!

I thought at first this was due to my having the H1N1 vaccine yesterday.  I've heard other diabetics having to cope with high blood sugars due to the vaccine, and of course, I seem to be the odd one out (why should that not surprise me one bit) in experiencing low blood sugars.

Well, so far, no curly pig tail has developed with my having the vaccine.  I'm feelling fine, except for having to deal with life as a space cadet and at the same time, function as a normal human being.  I am NOT happy.  It's day like this that I wish I had an endo or medical team at my finger tips that understood what we diabetics go thru', and also someone that understands a diabetic on a pump.  Scream!

So, I am now going to go and test my BG.  It's not something I really have to do, as I know I'm low, again, but I'm just curious as to what number I'm sitting at, after having food to eat, again. It doesn't seem to really bring me up much past 5.0 mmol/l -which is fine, but then I'm back down to 3.0 mmol/l range again, and that's without any insulin!  This is not fun when I'm spinning the roulette wheel of life with trying to figure out, what the heck is causing me to use very little insulin at meal times, snack times, whatever times!  What is freaking me out more is that 'm going on holidays in a few weeks, where I use less insulin.  I want to remember this holiday without having continual episodes of lows and going into la-la-land!!!  Scream (please note - I am not a screamer - it's just appropriate at the moment for my frustratiion).

Any advise is much appreciated, as I try my best to cope with this latest curve ball in the life of a diabetic, looking thru' a semi haze here (thank goodness I can type without looking at the keyboard or screen).  Wait, maybe I'm no longer needing as much insulin after 42 years with this disease???Maybe I've been cured by the H1N1 vaccine???